Last night I felt like death. 💀 But I was still deeply enamored with the city around me! 🤩 The quiet and open streets, the small amount of cars, all the unique shops and spaces, the cozy space we’re staying at. The train ride was probably about what I imagined it would be although sometimes it was slower moving and I was confused about that. But I really enjoyed the space to travel and also do whatever I want.

Some things are also so weird. Part of the weirdness was tainted by the incredible lack of rest I had since leaving ‘merica. I would drift in an out of sleep even unknowingly at times while sitting on a slat wood bench in a restaurant at the train station, and while riding on the train. At that point I had been awake for well over 24 hours, and it was weird. 😅 The train was much older than I expected, but was still a really quiet and calm ride (more than others I’ve been on). I enjoyed it.

I’m still enjoying speaking Spanish, but it’s also been stressful at times too cuz I don’t always know how to start the conversation or I get anxious about forgetting words or not knowing words. 😮‍💨 It’s because I want to look like I’m from here or at least be seen as a smart tourist (whatever that means). I don’t want it to be obvious where I’m from. But I think it’s probably obvious that at minimum I’m not from here as soon as I open my mouth or do something that’s not like a local (which is probs a lot). 😂 It’s funny cuz I know logically that I don’t need to look any specific way but I’m generally really good at performing and looking really polished most of the time. For the next bit while out here, I want to challenge the idea that I need to fit in or be something specific, and instead be the best version of me I can. Even if I don’t know words to say, even if I look like a tourist, or even a “dumb American”. Whatever people think of me they’re welcome to, cuz it doesn’t own me, it doesn’t control me or consume my energy unless I want it to or give it space. This will he a great place to try that more. 🎉

The city is also not as polished as I expected it to be. Haha it sounds kinda funny and I’ve explored only a tiny portion. It’s really just like any other city with some well maintained spots, some worn down and forgotten. There’s still a lot of beauty in the nooks and all over that I’m excited to discover.

I wanna go to the grocery store and see what that’s like! 😁 I wanna find snacks and try different brands and so many things.

I wanna walk around so many places and see what the metro is like all over. I wanna try to get a metro pass that lasts more than a day! I wanna find favorite shops and maybe meet some friends.

It’s 5:25am and I feel like I slept so deeply but not quite ass long as I expected to since being so exhausted. 😴 But I feel about the same as I would any other morning. Even though part of me wants to get up and be full of energy and excitement 🤩 I’m gonna try to sleep a bit longer cuz I think my body needs it.

It hasn’t even been one day in Spain and I bet by the time we live I’ll be much more fluidly thinking and speaking in Spanish, which will be really fun.